12:46 and I’m waiting for my father to come home so I can open the door for him.

It’s not like he abuses us or he’s a drunkard, but my mom deserves so muchbetter. First of all, the shallowest of all reasons, my mom is definitely one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. I envy her most of the time especially when I was younger. Her beauty is both timeless and effortless. Pretty would definitely not suffice to describe her. As in really, my writing skills are not good enough to give justice to my mom’s beauty. And my father? Fat, thinning hair, oily face, flat nose, bad posture. I know it’s so bad. But he’s actions just really pushes me to criticize him. Second, my mom is very hard working. If it wouldn’t have been for my mom, we would not be in our place today. Even until now that we’re well off, she doesn’t settle. She still strives hard and is never complacent. And my dad? Wakes up at 8:30 AM then burries his face in his iPhone and plays Clash of Clans.

SIGH. I’m just really really infuriated right now. I DON’T LIKE SEEING MY MOM HURT. It pains me every time I see her crying. (It’s not that she is crying right now) But whose wife would not be worrying when it’s almost 1:30 AM and his husband is not yet home? Of course, a woman’s imagination would clearly be working up all the worst scenarios. And that’s what’s happening right now to me. I love my mom more than I love myself. Really. She’s the most precious person to me, and I definitely cannot live without her. And anyone that would hurt her? I can and will never forgive. This is why I have this love-hate relationship with my father. Because he is so lazy and he stresses my mom so much, and I definitely know that my mom deserves so much more. I know maybe you would say that I should just be contented because at least my father does not abuse us, or he is not criminal. But it’s not that. My mom deserves so much more. She deserves to be pampered. She deserves to receive flowers every day. She deserves to receive designer bags. She is the best mother and the best wife. And if you know her, I know you would say the same.

My father is now here. Sigh. I don’t know anymore.


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